It was so loud and I was annoyed. Pissed actually. I was in desperate need for girl time but Lola ditched me again. I couldn't believe I had gone to Ulta and got those makeovers they do. It was ridiculous. They gave me red lips and the blush was simply too much. It made it look like someone pinched them really hard. I needed to escape reality and be someone other than myself.
There was a group of people laughing really loudly at something. It was almost infectious to the point where I had a small smirk when I took a sip of my Sauvignon Blanc. That's when I saw him.
He was nice and tall with dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. He had this mysterious look about it that made it clear he was not from around these parts. He stepped over the side so he was out of the doorway and looked around for whoever he was meeting. I had assumed it was a female companion based on the look of him. He had this puzzled look on his face when he noticed the empty chairs at the high top table I was at. When he came over he pulled out a chair, but then stopped when he noticed me.
"Mind if I sit here?", he asked. He had a British accent. Oh no, I had thought, I am already prepared to marry this man.
"Sure", I mumbled back.
He had ordered his beer and looked down at his phone. He shook his head and I couldn't hold back my curiosity anymore.
"Did you get stood up too?", I asked him.
He looked so surprised that I was speaking to him. "Yeah, I was supposed to meet my mate. Looks like he's not coming after all."
"So what brings a guy like you to a beach town in North Carolina?", I asked.
He chuckled and took a swig of his beer. "During high school we had an exchange program. I spent spring term here and loved it. I try to come back every few years to see my mates, get together, have some drinks. It gets harder and harder to do that every time I come here as we're getting older."
I smiled back at him and nodded. As I continued drinking my wine he continued to look me up and down and something made him decide to move over a little bit closer to my end of the table. I knew that was it for my night. I was bringing him home with me. That was just fine by me.
"So what are you doing here tonight?", he asked me.
"I was also supposed to meet a friend, but it looks like she's not coming either.", I told him. "I am celebrating." I held my glass up to him before taking another sip.
"What are you celebrating?", he asked.
"Well, you see, that's a big piece of information to tell someone when I don't know your name." I taunted back at him.
"Roger."
"Amy."
He stared at me for awhile waiting for me to tell him why I was celebrating. But he was never going to find out.
"I'm celebrating getting to make a new friend, Roger." That made him laugh and it was such a beautiful sound. Sexy, actually. The waitress had come back over to check on us and see if we were okay. Well, she actually wanted to see if Roger was okay but I couldn't blame her. He told her that all was fine and requested another drink for the both of us. I figured what the hell, I had earned it. It was a shit day, but it didn't need to be a shit night.
"Now, what's your plan for the rest of the night, Amy?", Roger asked. The truth was there was no plan. I had planned for Lola to get me drunk, watch her get hit on by a bunch of guys and go home with one while I went home. I was honest with him and told him there wasn't much of a plan. We continued with a bunch of small talk, but something struck a chord in me. I was shocked by the impulsivity.
"Do you want me to show you around my Wilmington?" I asked him.
Roger looked and caught our waitresses eye. "Check please", he exclaimed.
It made me laugh so hard that I snorted. That made him laugh too and we did that thing where we each made each other laugh harder and harder. He paid the bill like a true gentleman and he got right out of there.
We walked for awhile when he finally asked me, "So, are you taking me to my death or do you have a destination in mind?"
"I always have a destination in mind," I responded. "This part of Wilmington is fairly new, they just finished it. It's become my favorite place to go at night. It's relaxing, especially when it's low season."
We eventually stopped at my favorite spot on the boardwalk. There were three little stools that we sat at and had the most beautiful view of the river and downtown area. The lights made the city look breathtaking at night. I let Roger know this was my spot, the spot with the best view. It was nice to just sit in silence for a bit after being in a loud bar. Just what I needed. It was amazing how he immediately understood that. In the distance you could see lights going crazy.
"What's down there?", Roger asked.
"That's the amphitheater. They probably have a concert going on down there." I told him.
"We should go check it out!" he said. I gave him a look letting him know it would be a long walk. He held out his hand to go anyway, I took it.
It was late enough that the restaurants were starting to get quiet as they approached closing time. So we were able to just truly enjoy each others company. Then I looked over and saw we had approached the ship. I saw my old spot and stopped dead in my tracks.
"What's wrong?", Roger asked.
"It's my old spot."
"Okay, why is it the old spot?"
"It was our spot."
He was quiet. He didn't know where to go from there.
"My grandmother," I told him, "it was our spot. Our spot where we would sit and people watch."
"When did she pass?", he asked.
"Well, in a way we lost her twice. The first time with the diagnosis. Alzheimers. The second time when she physically went."
"I'm sorry." he said.
"It's okay, it happens one way or another to everyone. But it's hard to be here and take in the good times when she's been gone a month. That's why I was out drinking tonight. My friend has a morbid sense of humor. We were celebrating me not being a caretaker anymore." I let go of his hand and had to walk to the railing on the boardwalk. This stranger was not going to see me cry.
But then he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and put his face against mine. He whispered into my ear, "You're going to be okay" and I was undone.
It's been a rough few years, taking care of someone losing their mind. It was the part of her my grandmother most identified with was her brain. So to watch that go, it was hard. But you couldn't feel that hurt in the moment. You had to push that aside and be whoever she thought you were. Her mother, her sister, her friend, her enemy, a stranger. She came first. Whatever made her feel safe, that's what the most important thing was. She was living in her worst case scenario and I just wanted to make sure experiencing her nightmare didn't feel like one. Three years since she was officially diagnosed, and one month since she's been gone. Roger finally gave me permission to release it all. And I did.
"I'm sorry", I sobbed as I used the end of my sleeve to wipe my nose. We looked at each other and started laughing. I hadn't done that in awhile either.
"What a shite friend to leave you here for that kind of celebration solo," Roger put his arm around me and guided me down the board walk.
Yeah, shite friend indeed.
We continued walking to the boardwalk and finally reached the amphitheater. A band was on the stage playing their hearts out. It was sweet to watch. Roger reached out his hand again. I took it.
Roger had me dancing the night away and I felt free. I felt myself for the first time in ages it was absolutely amazing. Then all of a sudden there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a short girl with dark blue highlights in her black hair.
"Mind if I take a polaroid? You can have it for free," she said.
"Sure!" Roger said and he shook her hand. He must've slipped her something because she put something in her pocket and gave him a sheepish grin. He held me like he did at the old spot and we smiled. Flash. She handed us the photo. Roger handed the photo to me.
"Hope this helps you remember me," he said with a smile that didn't totally reach his eyes.
"Like I could ever forget the guy I snotted all over" I said trying to make him smile. But there was a sadness between us.
He looked into my eyes and it felt like he was staring into my soul. Usually that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. But for whatever reason with Roger it took my breath away. He leaned in and kissed me. It was one of those kisses that made Hollywood build up feel like childs play. To make things extra ridiculous, actual fireworks started going off. We both looked up at the sky to see the beautiful display. Our giggle fit started up again when I looked up at him and he suddenly became serious. After a moment he said, "Yes. I do want to go home with you."
I woke up the next morning in his arms. It was a magical night filled with laughs, secrets shared, and games played. It was the best one night stand any girl could have asked for. A wash of sadness came over me as I realized that's all this could ever be.
I decided I didn't need to deal with the sadness of watching him go away so I wanted to go get myself breakfast at my favorite diner nearby. When I put on my jacket to leave I felt something in my pocket. I took out the polaroid. Looking back at Roger still sleeping in my bed, I decided I would leave him this memento.
I saw his wallet on the kitchen table. I grabbed a pen and wrote on the bottom of the polaroid, "Hope you'll remember me in your wildest dreams ;)" and placed the photo in his wallet for him to find later.
I took one last look at Roger and then grabbed my keys, and closed the door. I knew when I came back he would not be here.
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